Holy Fuck The Election

Holy Fuck, now what?

Donald Trump won the election of 2016. But that doesn’t mean it’s fucking over.

Are you ok?

Do you need some fucking time?

Are you ready?

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1. Did Donald Trump really win another election? Yep, just like a repeat episode of a reality TV show that no one expected, he’s back.
2. Who did he run against? No one knows for sure, they all kind of blur together after a while. But trust me, it was definitely another human being, I’m pretty sure.
3. How did he manage to win this time? Well, some say it’s because he found a leprechaun’s pot of gold and made a wish. Others think he just out-tweeted his opponent. The truth is, it’s politics – who the hell knows?
4. Does this mean we’ll get more tweets? Did you miss them? Well, brace yourself, because if history tells us anything, it’s that Trump + Twitter = a never-ending stream of CAPS LOCK.
5. What was the reaction to his win? Some celebrated with MAGA hats and high-fives, others immediately looked up the exchange rate for Canadian dollars. For the rest, they turned to their favorite comfort food and binged on Netflix, wondering how this happened… again.
6. What can we expect from his presidency? Get ready for a wild ride, a sequel like no other, with more plot twists than a Game of Thrones season. If his previous term is any indication, we might expect Twitter storms, firings, rallies, and the occasional international incident.
7. How is he going to handle international relations? We’re not sure yet. Maybe he’ll invite Kim Jong Un to a sleepover at Mar-a-Lago or start a Twitter feud with Angela Merkel. It’s like a game of Diplomatic Bingo – anything can happen.
8. What about the wall? Ah, the wall. Will it be a picket fence, a chain link, or maybe a force field this time? Stay tuned to find out!
9. Trump’s unique campaign slogan was “Make America Great Again” (often abbreviated as MAGA), which became incredibly popular and iconic during the election. Some joked that MAGA actually stood for “Millionaires Are Getting Attention” or “My Administration’s Golfing Again.”
10. Despite being a political outsider, Trump won the Republican Party’s nomination, defeating several experienced politicians. This surprised many political analysts and gave rise to the term “Trumpism” to describe his unconventional and populist approach.
11. Trump’s victory marked the first time in U.S. history that a person with no prior political or military experience was elected as president. This led to jokes about running the country like a reality TV show or turning the White House into the set of “The Apprentice.”
12. Trump’s election campaign was known for his enthusiastic and often humorous rallies. He had a knack for creating memorable nicknames for his opponents, such as “Crooked Hillary” for Hillary Clinton and “Sleepy Joe” for Joe Biden. His use of nicknames became a signature element of his communication style.
13. Trump’s unfiltered and often controversial statements provided ample material for late-night comedians and satirical shows. His distinctive speaking style and colorful vocabulary gave rise to numerous comedic impressions, with some comedians even saying that doing impressions of Trump was “like writing jokes with training wheels.”
14. Trump’s election victory was seen as a major upset by many pollsters and pundits who predicted a different outcome. Memes and jokes about “expert” predictions flooded social media, with references to Nostradamus, fortune tellers, and the unreliability of political forecasts.
15. Trump’s presidency was marked by a number of significant events, including his impeachment by the House of Representatives. This led to jokes about how he was joining the elite club of impeached presidents and comparisons to other famous impeached figures like Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon.

 

I did not vote for Trump. Those six words have caused quite a stir among my family and friends. Some people have been understanding, while others have been outraged. But regardless of the reactions, I stand by my decision.

During the 2016 presidential election, I found myself torn between two candidates. On one hand, there was Hillary Clinton, who had a wealth of political experience and seemed to have a strong grasp on the issues facing our country. On the other hand, there was Donald Trump, a businessman with no political experience and a tendency to make inflammatory statements.

In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to vote for Trump. His rhetoric was divisive and often offensive, and I couldn’t reconcile his behavior with the values I hold dear. While I understand that some people may have felt that he was the best choice for the country, I personally could not support him. I think we need a 3rd party candidate, that is what I could back.

 

I stumbled upon a website called Smarkets, a betting marketplace that piqued my interest. As someone who enjoys keeping up with current events and political discussions, I was curious to see how betting markets were interpreting the upcoming elections. When I registered for an account, I was surprised to find that Smarkets had Trump with a 58 percent chance of winning.

I remember sitting at my kitchen table, my laptop open in front of me, as I delved deeper into the site. The interface was surprisingly user-friendly, with a clean design that made it easy to navigate. I was particularly intrigued by the way the odds fluctuated based on news events and public sentiment. It was like watching a live stock market for political predictions. I thought back to the last election cycle and how I had been glued to my TV, anxiously watching the results come in. This time, I felt like I had a new tool to gauge the political landscape.

As I explored the site further, I came across various markets related to the elections, including bets on specific candidates, party control of Congress, and even state-level outcomes. I had a chuckle when I saw a market on whether Trump would make a surprise announcement before the election. It reminded me of the outrageous moments from his previous campaigns, like when he suggested that he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and still not lose voters. The unpredictability of his persona made me realize how much of a wild card he truly is.

I decided to do a little informal poll among my friends to see what they thought about the odds. I hosted a small gathering at my place, where we enjoyed some homemade tacos and margaritas. As we chatted about the upcoming election, I brought up the Smarkets odds. My friend Jake, a staunch Democrat, scoffed at the idea. “There’s no way he’s winning again!” he exclaimed, slamming his beer can down on the table. “Have you seen his approval ratings?”

On the other hand, my friend Lisa, who has always been more moderate, chimed in, “You can’t underestimate his base. They’re still very passionate about him.” I shared the 58 percent figure, and the room erupted into a debate about what that really meant. Some argued that betting markets often reflect the sentiment of active participants, while others pointed out that they could also be influenced by misinformation and media hype.

That night, we ended up having a lively discussion about the role of betting in politics. I mentioned how it intrigued me that people could put their money where their mouths were, literally betting on outcomes based on their beliefs. I recalled a story I had read about how betting markets had accurately predicted election outcomes in the past, often more so than traditional polls. It made me wonder if there was something to this whole betting angle that could provide insights into public sentiment.

As the night wore on, we also discussed the implications of these odds on voter turnout. I shared a statistic I had come across: in the last election, states with tighter races saw significantly higher voter turnout. “If people think Trump has a good chance, they might be more inclined to vote,” I said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

After my friends left, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Smarkets had opened a new door for me to engage with politics. I spent the next few days checking the site regularly, watching how the odds shifted with each news cycle. It became a fascinating hobby, and I even began following political analysts on Twitter to get their takes on the betting landscape.