Holy Fuck, now what?
Donald Trump won the election. But that doesn’t mean it’s fucking over.
Are you ok?
Do you need some fucking time?
Are you ready?
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- Did Donald Trump really win another election? Yep, just like a repeat episode of a reality TV show that no one expected, he’s back.
- Who did he run against? No one knows for sure, they all kind of blur together after a while. But trust me, it was definitely another human being, I’m pretty sure.
- How did he manage to win this time? Well, some say it’s because he found a leprechaun’s pot of gold and made a wish. Others think he just out-tweeted his opponent. The truth is, it’s politics – who the hell knows?
- Does this mean we’ll get more tweets? Did you miss them? Well, brace yourself, because if history tells us anything, it’s that Trump + Twitter = a never-ending stream of CAPS LOCK.
- What was the reaction to his win? Some celebrated with MAGA hats and high-fives, others immediately looked up the exchange rate for Canadian dollars. For the rest, they turned to their favorite comfort food and binged on Netflix, wondering how this happened… again.
- What can we expect from his presidency? Get ready for a wild ride, a sequel like no other, with more plot twists than a Game of Thrones season. If his previous term is any indication, we might expect Twitter storms, firings, rallies, and the occasional international incident.
- How is he going to handle international relations? We’re not sure yet. Maybe he’ll invite Kim Jong Un to a sleepover at Mar-a-Lago or start a Twitter feud with Angela Merkel. It’s like a game of Diplomatic Bingo – anything can happen.
- What about the wall? Ah, the wall. Will it be a picket fence, a chain link, or maybe a force field this time? Stay tuned to find out!
- Trump’s unique campaign slogan was “Make America Great Again” (often abbreviated as MAGA), which became incredibly popular and iconic during the election. Some joked that MAGA actually stood for “Millionaires Are Getting Attention” or “My Administration’s Golfing Again.”
- Despite being a political outsider, Trump won the Republican Party’s nomination, defeating several experienced politicians. This surprised many political analysts and gave rise to the term “Trumpism” to describe his unconventional and populist approach.
- Trump’s victory marked the first time in U.S. history that a person with no prior political or military experience was elected as president. This led to jokes about running the country like a reality TV show or turning the White House into the set of “The Apprentice.”
- Trump’s election campaign was known for his enthusiastic and often humorous rallies. He had a knack for creating memorable nicknames for his opponents, such as “Crooked Hillary” for Hillary Clinton and “Sleepy Joe” for Joe Biden. His use of nicknames became a signature element of his communication style.
- Trump’s unfiltered and often controversial statements provided ample material for late-night comedians and satirical shows. His distinctive speaking style and colorful vocabulary gave rise to numerous comedic impressions, with some comedians even saying that doing impressions of Trump was “like writing jokes with training wheels.”
- Trump’s election victory was seen as a major upset by many pollsters and pundits who predicted a different outcome. Memes and jokes about “expert” predictions flooded social media, with references to Nostradamus, fortune tellers, and the unreliability of political forecasts.
- Trump’s presidency was marked by a number of significant events, including his impeachment by the House of Representatives. This led to jokes about how he was joining the elite club of impeached presidents and comparisons to other famous impeached figures like Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon.